A1 Fun

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Bozo criminal for today goes a long way toward proving that bozo-ism may be hereditary. From Port Huron, Michigan, comes the story of bozo Matthew Clark who broke into a gas station, stole a pack of cigarettes and a six-pack of beer. He sat down and enjoyed the smokes and beer before calling 911 to turn himself in. And the reason he gave the cops? He told them his brother was in jail and he wanted to go and see him. He did go to jail, but wasn't allowed to visit his brother.

Joke stolen from: A1 Fun

Bozo criminal for today comes from the International File in Portsmouth, England. We're not sure, but it looks like allergies could be as big a problem in England this time of the year as they are around here...and that's just what got our bozo arrested. Bozo Timothy McCain broke into a residence and got away with a television set and a jacket. He made a clean getaway except for one thing, a used handkerchief that he left at the scene. Cops were able to extract DNA from the hanky, which matched to our bozo, who already had several priors for burglary. He's busted.

Joke stolen from: A1 Fun

Bozo criminals for today come from La Marque, Texas, where our bozos at least had good intentions. Bozo Michael Brown and his girlfriend Cheryl Higgs walked, or perhaps staggered would be a better term, into the police station. After the woman passed out in the lobby, our bozo told the cops that he thought they might need a ride home. Which would have been OK except for that little baggie of marijuana that was sticking out of one of his shoes. Oops. They're busted.

Joke stolen from: A1 Fun

Bozo criminal for today comes from Biddeford, Maine, where bozo Mary Green went into a convenience store and threatened to blow her own head off if the clerk didn't empty the register. He gave her several hundred dollars and then watched her walk across the street to a pizza restaurant, where she ordered herself a pepperoni pizza and calmly sat down to wait for her order. She was still waiting when the cops arrived.

Joke stolen from: A1 Fun

Bozo criminal for today comes from Sheboygan, Wisconsin, where Bozo Kristopher Lane broke into the local tavern and stole four cases of beer. Police were able to track him down because he left one vital piece of evidence at the scene. Something that, if he had only used it, might have kept him from heading down the road to a life of crime. Police used the information on the library card that our bozo dropped to track him down and place him under arrest.