Able2Laugh

Joke stolen from: Able2Laugh

There was a huge snowstorm in Washington, D.C. They are calling it the city's biggest snow job since that stimulus package. (Jay Leno)

Joke stolen from: Able2Laugh

Ole and Sven are the best of friends, and they have these two girls on the string - Lena and Olga - who live together in an apartment. One evening Ole and Sven are sitting in the bar getting drunk. Ole turns to Sven and asks, 'Ven do you suppose dose girls are gonna make out vit us?' Sven says, 'Donno, but I'm drunk enuf. Let's go ask em!' So off they go to the apartment where Ole knocks on the door. Lena answers and says, 'Vell, Ole and Sven, come on in!' Ole no more than gets in the door when he says, 'Ve yust come to find out ven you girls are gonna make out vit us.' Lena is really upset by this and throws them both out, slamming the door on them. Ole is persistent and knocks on the door again. Lena isn't stupid. She knows it's Ole and says, 'Ole if you are gonna be so forward, you'll have to talk through the keyhole.' So Ole bends to the keyhole and asks, 'Ven you girls gonna make out vit us?' Lena is really upset now. She drops her pants, backs up to the keyhole, and farts in it. As Ole is backing up and shaking his head, Sven asks, 'Vell Ole, vat did she say?' Ole says, 'Vell, I tink she said. FFFFfffffrrriiddaayy but her breath is so bad, I'm not askin again.'

Joke stolen from: Able2Laugh

President Obama says it's only the "rich few" who oppose his spending plan. What he meant to say was that after his plan is enacted, only a few of us will be rich. (Jake Novak)

Joke stolen from: Able2Laugh

I got my Economic Stimulus Package today. Two chickens and pack of watermelon seeds.

Joke stolen from: Able2Laugh

It is hard to understand how a cemetery raises its burial rates And blames it on the cost of living.