Able2Laugh

Joke stolen from: Able2Laugh

Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community: The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours. Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flakey at times, he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions. Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

Joke stolen from: Able2Laugh

If you love a Redhead, set her free.....if she follows you everywhere you go, if she pitches a tent in your front lawn, and if she puts your new girlfriend in the hospital, she's yours.

Joke stolen from: Able2Laugh

And it snowed in Malibu. That is unbelievable, isn't it? Yeah. Five inches of snow in Malibu, where people aren't used to snow. They were trying to snort it. They didn't understand. (Jay Leno)

Joke stolen from: Able2Laugh

Did you know that President Obama signed his stimulus package at the exact same desk where President Clinton had his package stimulated? The irony of it boggles the mind...

Joke stolen from: Able2Laugh

A Catholic Cardinal in Chile says that Madonna causes "impure thoughts". In order to keep his mind on business, he was forced to surround himself with a few extra altar boys. (Jake Novak)