Able2Laugh

Joke stolen from: Able2Laugh

Now here's something historical. In January, all five living presidents are scheduled to have lunch together. Clinton suggested the VIP room at Hooters. (David Letterman)

Joke stolen from: Able2Laugh

Two guys are out hunting deer. The first guy says, "Did you see that?" "No," the second guy says. "Well, a bald eagle just flew overhead," the first guy says. "Oh," says the second guy. A couple of minutes later, the first guy says, "Did you see that?" "See what?" the second guy asks. "Are you blind? There was a big, black bear walking on that hill, over here." "Oh." A few minutes later the first guy says: "Did you see that?" By now, the second guy is getting aggravated, so he says, "Yes, I did!" And the first guy says: "Then why did you step in it?"

Joke stolen from: Able2Laugh

The defendant and his lawyer are in the courtroom, the man being charged with theft. The lawyer tells the crusty old judge, "My lord, my client has produced receipts for, firstly, the high speed modem." "High-speed modem?" questions the old-fashioned judge. "Yes" replies the lawyer, "It allows computers to communicate over vast distances at high rates of speed. It allows email and something called cybersex in AOL chatrooms, your honor." "Cybersex?" says the judge, "You mean sex through a modem? You mean sex on a monitor? Good lord, the morals of this society! Sex should be a natural event of nature!" "Secondly, my lord," continues the lawyer, "My client can produce a receipt for the DVD player." "DVD player?" queries the judge. "Yes my lord, it enables millions of bits of information to be read off a small disk." "And I suppose most of this information is cybersex related. Modern technology and modern society, baffling, just baffling," comments the judge. "I'm appalled at what technology is doing to society these days." "Thirdly my lord, my client can produce a receipt for the super deluxe inflatable milk maid, whatever that is." "That's the one with the silicone breasts and real hair," replies the judge.

Joke stolen from: Able2Laugh

The Top 8 Signs Your Military Video Game Sucks 8 You're attacking the Roman forces with elephants and archers, and they're returning fire with M-16s and RPGs. 7 The only available rank is Lieutenant, which wouldn't be so bad if the game weren't called "Frag the Looey." 6 After dying, you have to manually scrub the field latrines before getting a new life. 5 The title "Lick Butt and Take Names" isn't a typo. 4 Charlie surfs. 3 The first eight levels consist of requisitioning gear and getting shots, and the next five are transit hops. 2 It's called "Vietnam: the Paris Peace Talks." 1 Your highly-experienced Panzer division loses to Appalachian State.

Joke stolen from: Able2Laugh

There's no business like show business, but there's no job like a blowjob.