Alpha's Jokes and Inspirational

Joke stolen from: Alpha's Jokes and Inspirational

When my brother Travis was in kindergarten, he was learning about the difference between reptiles or fish and warm-blooded animals. One day, Travis came home with a concerned look on his face.

When my mother asked him what was wrong, he responded hesitantly.

"Mom, when Dad loses all of his hair, will he still be a mammal?"

Joke stolen from: Alpha's Jokes and Inspirational

Teddy came thundering down the stairs, much to his father's annoyance. "Teddy," he called, "how many more times have I got to tell you to come downstairs quietly? Now, go back upstairs and come down like a civilized human being."

There was a silence, and Teddy reappeared in the front room. "That's better," said his father, "now in future will you always come down stairs like that."

"Suits me," said Teddy. "I slid down the railing."

Joke stolen from: Alpha's Jokes and Inspirational

Since television is abbreviated to TV, why is telephone not abbreviated to TP?

Joke stolen from: Alpha's Jokes and Inspirational

Have you ever noticed that the first piece of luggage that comes out on the airport carousel never seems to belong to anyone???

Joke stolen from: Alpha's Jokes and Inspirational

I'm not sure if President Bush really understands how important this issue is. Like the other day, a reporter asked if he was a deserter. Bush answered, "No, I skip the pie, the ice cream ... not a big deserter." -- Jay Leno