Joke stolen from: Bizarre News

First it was finger guns. Now a school in McKees Rocks, Pennsylvania, has banned the use of forks and knives after police were called numerous times on reports of students stabbing one another. Students allegedly used the forks and knives to stab one another during fights, and used bathroom breaks to use drugs. Parents and students complained about the restrictions, saying that they are too extreme, but officials insisted that these measures are necessary for the safety of the children. Over the past several weeks, multiple students were rushed to the hospital after being stabbed by forks or knives. After banning food utensils, officials told the children to eat with their fingers. Officials will cancel the bans once students learn to control themselves, and act in a civil and legal manner.