Joke stolen from: Bizarre News

The Beer Belly Defense (only available in Canada)

A doctor in Canada, who was accused of sexually assaulting his female patients by pressing his private parts against their legs, told a committee that he could not physically do that due to his large belly. A 5-member panel of the College of Physicians and Surgeons of Ontario's discipline committee, heard that Dr. Rodion Andrew Kunynetz, who is a dermatologist, sexually assaulted female patients on multiple occasions. After reviewing all the evidence in the cases, the committee found the doctor guilty of sexually abusing one patient by touching her chest under her bra without clinical justification for doing so. Kunynetz denied all the allegations, claiming that it was physically impossible for him to press his manhood against his patients' legs because the size of his belly. However, the committee ruled that Kunynetz failed to prove this. He is facing 11 criminal counts of sexual assault and one count of gross indecency. A total of 11 women filed complaints with the police against the doctor.