Buffalo Chip List

Joke stolen from: Buffalo Chip List

I met a beautiful young woman at a nightclub. We were getting on very well when she said she had something to show me. She removed her wig and she was totally bald.

"It's alopecia," she said, "but if you still like me you can ask me anything."

I have always wanted to know, so I asked her straight. "Does your condition make you bald in other places?"

She whispered in my ear, "There's only one way to find out."

What an idiot I am...using Google at a time like this.

Joke stolen from: Buffalo Chip List

Before he left on a business trip, Lex, took his younger brother aside.

"Cam, since you are staying with us" he said, "I'm trusting you to take care of the family. You'll be the man of the house."

Comprehending the gravity of the situation, Cameron said, "In that case, where do you keep the condoms."

Joke stolen from: Buffalo Chip List

When his son refused to get a job, his father insisted he join the Marine Corps.

At the physical, the Doctor directed the reluctant recruit to read the eyechart across the room.

''What chart doc?" the young man asked.

"The one on the wall!'' the doctor said.

'What wall?' said the young man.

Sensing he had a deadbeat on his hands, and wanting to fill his quota, the doctor asked his nurse to strip down and walk into the exam room.

'Now what do you see son?'

"Doc, I can't see a thing, I'm as blind as a bat."

"Well, you may not see anything, the doctor said, but your dick is pointing straight towards Paris Island, South Carolina."

'Welcome to the U.S. Marine Corps'

Joke stolen from: Buffalo Chip List

Joke stolen from: Buffalo Chip List

After a tiring day, a commuter settled down in his seat and closed his eyes.

As the train rolled out of the station, the young woman sitting next to him pulled out her cell phone and started talking in a loud voice: "Hi sweetheart.

It's Sue. I'm on the train".

"Yes, I know it's the six thirty and not the four thirty, but I had a long meeting".

"No, honey, not with that Kevin from the accounting office. It was with the boss".

"No sweetheart, you're the only one in my life".

"Yes, I'm sure, cross my heart!"

Fifteen minutes later, she was still talking loudly.

When the man sitting next to her had enough, he leaned over and said into the phone, "Sue, hang up the phone and come back to bed."

Sue doesn't use her cell phone in public any longer.