Joke stolen from: Clean laffs

After weeks of deliberation and mental anguish I finally found what I think is a pretty nice Christmas gift for the wife. It was a close thing, too. I only bought it a few days ago.

So the minute I got it home I wrapped it up and tried to find a hiding place for it so I could sneak it under the tree come Christmas eve.

It is a decent-sized box, so I couldn't stick it in a drawer. I couldn't hide it in the basement because the wife is down there all the time. I thought about just leaving it in the back of the truck, but with my luck we would be out somewhere and she would reach back there for something.

Finally, I hit upon the idea of sliding it behind the sofa. It fit perfectly, and with the frequency that the wife does house cleaning I figured it would be safe back there until next Christmas at least.

An hour later when the wife got home I was on the couch watching TV like I had been sitting there all night.

Almost the first thing she did when she got in the house was start playing with the dog (which gives you an idea of where I rate). After a couple minutes of throwing toys around the living room she paused and asked, "Do you know where the dog's chewy bone is?"

"Yeah," I said. "It's in the glove box in my truck."

"Really?"

"No."

Seeing that she wasn't getting anywhere with her interrogation of me she started looking around the living room.

Now in the 15 months we have been in this house the dog has never, never mind you, crawled behind the sofa for any reason whatsoever. So where do you think was the very first place the wife looked for that God-forsaken, stupid, plastic, 90 cent chewy bone?

My brilliant hiding place remained undiscovered for about 15 minutes.

I shook my head as her face slowly peeked over the arm of the couch.

"Is that for me?" she asked with a sparkle in her eye.

"No," I answered. "I bought a new dog bed for the dog and I didn't want her to find it before Christmas."

"Really?"

"No."