Clean laffs

Joke stolen from: Clean laffs

"The shoe store Payless is filing for bankruptcy and closing nearly 400 stores in the United States. Yes, 400 shoe stores closed, but thousands of soles lost. The problem was their work ethic. Most of Payless was just a bunch of loafers." -James Corden

Joke stolen from: Clean laffs

"UPS announced yesterday that it will begin delivering packages on Saturdays. Unless, of course, you plan on being home on Saturday." -Seth Meyers

Joke stolen from: Clean laffs

While at a marine-supply store stocking up on equipment for my boat, I also purchased an inflatable life preserver. "It was my wife's idea," I explained to the grizzled salesman at the counter. "She's buying it for me as a gift."

"Lucky you," he said as he started to write up the order. "My wife got me a length of chain and a cement block."

Joke stolen from: Clean laffs

"The Fourth of July holiday weekend is almost upon us. The original Brexit is the Fourth of July. It's my favorite holiday. You don't have to wrap anything, other than bacon around a hot dog." -Jimmy Kimmel

Joke stolen from: Clean laffs

"I was thinking about doing something to my wife on April Fools' Day but then I thought, you know what, tricking her into marrying me was more than enough prank." -Jimmy Kimmel