Clean laffs

Joke stolen from: Clean laffs

"Technically right now is Friday, and that means today is St. Patrick's Day. I read that Americans could spend over $5 billion for St. Patrick's Day this year. Yeah, that's JUST on bail money." -James Corden

Joke stolen from: Clean laffs

Ken and Melba had finished their breakfast at the retirement home and were relaxing in the library. "You know," said Melba, "today, in most marriage ceremonies, they don't use the word 'obey' anymore."

"Too bad, isn't it?" retorted Ken. "It used to lend a little humor to the occasion."

Joke stolen from: Clean laffs

"Everyone's OK, but over the weekend off the coast of Florida, a Carnival Cruise ship almost hit two jet skiers. Today, the captain of the ship apologized and said, 'I'll get them next time.'" -Conan O'Brien

Joke stolen from: Clean laffs

In my sociology class, we were instructed to write down answers to some questions the teacher was asking.

"Next question," announced the instructor. "How would you like to be seen by the opposite sex?"

I was thinking about my answer when the young woman next to me turned and asked, "How do you spell 'intellectual?'"

Joke stolen from: Clean laffs

"College students are out of town for spring break. This is the time of year students take a well-deserved break from partying and drinking at school to go party and drink on a beach." -Jimmy Kimmel