Comedy Ezine - Zany Tidbits

Joke stolen from: Comedy Ezine - Zany Tidbits

A writer was sued for $60 million after writing a book about a convicted Orange County serial killer. Although the inmate is on death row, he claimed that he was innocent in all 16 murders, so the characterization of him as a serial killer was false, misleading and "defamed his good name". In addition, he claimed those falsehoods would cause him to be "shunned by society and unable to find decent employment" once he returned to private life. The case was thrown out in a record 46 seconds, but only after $30,000 in legal fees were incurred by the writer's publisher. (Source: CALA - http://www.cala.com)

Joke stolen from: Comedy Ezine - Zany Tidbits

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Outrageous Lawsuits {from: duhaime.org}

An inmate file a $5 million lawsuit against himself (he claimed that he violated his own civil rights by getting arrested) - then asked the state to pay because he has no income in jail. He said, "I want to pay myself 5 million dollars, but ask the state to pay it on my behalf because since I can't work and an a ward of the state." The judge was not impressed by his ingenuity, and dismissed the suit as frivolous. (Source: CALA - http://www.cala.com)

Joke stolen from: Comedy Ezine - Zany Tidbits

Pity the poor Danish gentleman who thought he was undergoing a bit of very minor surgery. The 30-year-old patient was having a mole removed from his bottom with an electric knife when he broke wind. The flatus was ignited by a spark and his genitals, which had been swabbed with rubbing alcohol, caught fire. The man, who is suing the hospital, said: "When I woke up my penis and scrotum were burning like Hell. Besides the pain, I can't have sex with my wife." (He made no mention of how well he performed with anyone else's wife, however.) Surgeons at the hospital in Kjellenipa, in the sort of classic understatement for which doctors are famous, said: "It was an unfortunate accident." (No shit!)

Joke stolen from: Comedy Ezine - Zany Tidbits

A convicted bank robber on parole robbed a California Savings and Loan Branch. The bank robber placed the money roll containing the hidden Security Pac in his front pants pocket. The Security Pac released tear gas and red dye resulting in second and third degree burns requiring treatment at a hospital. The bank robber sued the bank, the Security Pac manufacturer, the city, the police and the hospital. (Source: ATRA - http://www.atra.org: Candelario v. City of Oakland, No. 628960-3 Cal. App. Dep't Super. Ct. 1987)

Joke stolen from: Comedy Ezine - Zany Tidbits

PORTLAND, Conn. (AP) -- The timers on the microwave ovens at a Burger King scared off a gunman who thought they were security alarms going off. The holdup man left without taking any money. The only worker in the restaurant was putting breakfast sandwiches in the ovens when the gunman entered before daybreak and demanded that she open a cash drawer. As she fumbled with the lock, the oven timers sounded. "He disappeared in two seconds," manager Jorge Ruisanchez said. No arrests were made.