Daily Groaner

Joke stolen from: Daily Groaner

One evening, in a busy lounge in the deep south, a reindeer walked in the door, bellied up to the bar and ordered a martini. Without batting an eye, the bartender mixed and poured the drink, set it in front of the reindeer, and accepted the twenty-dollar bill from the reindeer's hoof. As he handed the reindeer some coins in change, he said, "You know, I think you're the first reindeer I've ever seen in here." The reindeer looked hard at the hoofful of change and said, "Hmmmpf. Let me tell you something, buddy. At these prices, I'm the last reindeer you'll see in here."

Joke stolen from: Daily Groaner

Q: What is the most dangerous part of a car? A: The nut that holds the steering wheel.

Joke stolen from: Daily Groaner

I went to my friend's house recently and noticed that his Christmas tree was bare except for a shotgun shell near the top. I asked, "What's the deal, no decorations?" Puzzled, he looked at me and said, "What do you mean? It's a cartridge in a bare tree."

Joke stolen from: Daily Groaner

Q: What do snowmen eat for breakfast? A: Snowflakes!

Joke stolen from: Daily Groaner

When the waitress in a New York City restaurant brought him the soup du jour, the Englishman was a bit dismayed. "Good heavens," he said, "what is this?" "Why, it's bean soup," she replied. "I don't care what it has been," he sputtered. "What is it now?"