Joke stolen from: Debbie

This little old lady went to the store to purchase some dog food where she was informed by the clerk that there was a policy in place on old ladies purchasing dog food. Apparently they've had old ladies go in and buy the food for their pets and eat it themselves, so they now need to bring proof. A little ticked, the old lady went back home, got her precious pooch, and returned to the store, then they sold her the dog food. She returned to the store the following day to purchase food for her cat and was advised of the same policy only with cats. So, the lady stormed out of the store and returned shortly after with her spiteful Whiskies and was approved to purchase the cat food. The next day, the old lady went back yet again to the store; only this time, she was carrying a small black container. She brought it directly to the clerk and requested that she stick her hand inside of it. "Why? What's in it?" the clerk asked. "Just put your hand in here," the old lady demanded. "No thank you, how do I know there's nothing in it that won't chomp on me?" "I can assure you, there's nothing in it that will bite you!" After briefly hesitating, the clerk gave in and put her hand in the container and felt the contents. She immediately pulled them out to examine them screamed. Standing on the other side of the counter, the old lady was smiling and asked "do I have your approval now to purchase some ass wipe?"