Dosti Yaari

Joke stolen from: Dosti Yaari

Mom's Answering Machine Hello- This is your Mother! If you want my advice: PRESS 1 If you want to argue: PRESS 2 If you want your father to drive you somewhere PRESS 3 If you want to leave a message: WAIT FOR THE TONE If you want to aggravate me or borrow money: HANG UP!

Joke stolen from: Dosti Yaari

The Year of Blonde

Dinesh Vora

January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.....Helllloooo!!!.....bottles won't fit in printer !!!

March - Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said "2-4 years!"

April - Trapped on escalator for hours .... power went out!!!

May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!

June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

August - Got locked out of my car in rain storm.....car swamped because soft-top was open.

September - The capital of California is "C" isn't it?

October - Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.

November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days ... instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!

December - Couldn't call 911 ..... "duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!!!

An Exciting Blonde Year!

Joke stolen from: Dosti Yaari

Generally not a good idea, meeting guys in a bar. It's like going grocery shopping when you're hungry; you bring home stuff you don't need.

Joke stolen from: Dosti Yaari

In Romania, a man pleaded and begged his wife to take him back after getting caught cheating. Wife obliged him and took him back just to change her mind in the middle of the night. The Conniving and happy man had to go to the hospital to have his wedding ring removed from his penis that she had slipped it on his penis in sudden fit of rage while he was asleep drunk.

Joke stolen from: Dosti Yaari

My daughter works at a casino. One evening when she was running the roulette table a fly landed on a number. One of the players noticed and put his money on that number. After my daughter spun the wheel and there were no winners, she turned to the disappointed bettor and said, "It must have been a house fly."