Ezines Etc - Zany Tidbits

Joke stolen from: Ezines Etc - Zany Tidbits

DRIVE AROUND, PLEASE One night J. D. Roberts, an agent for the Drug Enforcement Agency, was involved in a raid on a drug house that was doing a brisk business in marijuana sales. He and the other agents were dressed in black "battle" fatigues with "Narcotics Agent" stenciled on them. Local uniformed officers in marked police cruisers also took part in the raid. Roberts and his team easily entered the house and apprehended the suspect. Several hundred pounds of marijuana were confiscated without incident. Within minutes the officers were collecting evidence and finishing up at the scene. As Roberts started out the front door, he noticed a pickup truck parked behind one of the marked police cruisers in front of the house. Two long-haired individuals got out of the pickup and strolled past the police cruisers parked in the driveway, then walked up to Roberts and his partner. "Hey man, he still selling pot?" Roberts looked at his partner, then back at the guy. "Yeah, he is. Just go around and knock on the back door." "Cool." The two men nodded and walked on. Roberts watched in amazement as the two individuals sauntered around to the rear of the house. Roberts radioed the officers still inside the house that they had customers at the back door. The uniformed officers inside quickly hid while one plainclothes detective answered the door. The new customers asked where the old owner was, and the officer explained that the owner had stepped out but that he could help them. They requested a fifty-dollar bag of marijuana. The officer went to the next room, grabbed a handful from the four hundred pounds of pot they had just confiscated and stuffed it into a plastic bag. The two customers were ecstatic. They thanked the officer for his generosity. Roberts and his partner were still in the drive way, still wearing the black battle fatigues with "Narcotics Agent" stenciled on their chests, when the two customers headed back to their pickup, oblivious to the uniformed officers and the two marked police cruisers in the driveway. Finally, Roberts walked up to the two satisfied customers and arrested them. The agents re-confiscated the dope and impounded the pickup - just as another prospective customer pulled up. Roberts decided this was too easy to ignore. "We moved the two cruisers and started putting the impounded vehicles in the back. We make about fourteen more sales and arrests that night. By the time we were through, the backyard was filled with cars. It was the darnedest impromptu sting I've ever seen."

Joke stolen from: Ezines Etc - Zany Tidbits

CAIRNS, Australia - A man seemed embarrassed after a snake bit him in the crotch while he was relieving himself on the side of the road in Australia, an ambulance spokesman said. The tourist could have lost his life when a poisonous brown snake lurched toward his crotch and sunk its teeth into his manhood, the Sun reported Thursday. It was reported rescue officials hurried to the road near Cairns, Australia, and began on-site treatment. Medical officials said the man was expected to recover, despite throwing up and complaining of a stomachache. "It certainly had a swipe at him. But it didn't envenomate him. As it came through it must have got a bit of a shock," the spokesman said. "I think he was a bit shocked and embarrassed."

Joke stolen from: Ezines Etc - Zany Tidbits

Dutch designer Eric Klarenbeek, 29, has developed jewelry consisting of tiny crystals or flowers that hang directly from the eye via micro-thin medical wire attached to either prescription or blank contact lenses and, in the light, give the appearance of tears streaming down the cheek. He expects to hit the market soon, according to an October report in London's Daily Mail, at a price of the equivalent of around $325. Though the adornments appear to be painful or dangerous, Klarenbeek said users of his prototypes so far have been "amazed" at their comfort. [Daily Mail, 10-3-08]

Joke stolen from: Ezines Etc - Zany Tidbits

Police in the Bavarian town of Neu-Ulm said they were investigating a dentist who allegedly barged into the home of a 35-year-old patient in September, tied her hands, forced her mouth open, and removed dentures worth the equivalent of about $500 because the woman's insurance company had declined to pay. [The Local (Berlin), 9-24-08]

Joke stolen from: Ezines Etc - Zany Tidbits

Residents of an Austin, Texas, neighborhood undergoing a federally mandated sewer replacement noticed that, for several weeks starting in September, the work crews would spend the first three hours of their 12-hour days digging a huge hole in the street, and the last three hours re-filling and paving over it (repeating the process each day). The 20-by-20-by- 20-foot hole in Monroe Street was too big to be covered with metal plates, and the city's "policy" of minimal traffic disruption required repaving for nighttime use, at least doubling the cost of the work. [Austin American-Statesman, 10-8-08]