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Joke stolen from: FarmJokes.com

This is a true story.

I grew up in a wide spot in the road in Nebraska. It consisted of a general store and a Post Office.It actually was a town because of the P.O. Population of 4!!! Mom, Dad, Sister and Me. We had a dog and some chickens for eggs and fryers. We also had a big Leghorn Rooster that my dad teased alot and he would chase me all the time.

Keep in mind that we didn't have indoor plumbing so we had an out house. Well in the winter I went to the out house dropped my bib overalls and unbuttoned the trap door in my longjohns. (I was about 5 years old). When I finished, I couldn't re-button the flap, so I opened the outhouse door and started toward the house with my pants down at my ankles. Needless to say Mr. Rooster was waiting for me and commenced to peck my butt!!! I couldn't run cause my bibs were down. I just stood there and screamed and hollered until my mom came out with her broom and whacked that old rooster till he left!! I barely remember this, but my dad always told the story at all the family gatherings.

Have a good one..Tom-So Calif.

Joke stolen from: FarmJokes.com

A few years ago, my high school sweetheart and I connected again after many years and a few bad marriages. Things were still great between us and we starting dating again. During the first month, we visited one of his sisters who lived in the country (the family of 6 kids grew up way out in the country, while I'm a city girl). After the visit, my then-boyfriend (now husband) heard the call of nature and decided to answer it on the country lane. We were in the Kansas Flinthills where the hills are just small enough not to give you airsickness and large enough to hide a car or truck for a few moments. As luck would have it, the traffic was sparse. As he's standing next to the closed truck door, his head is constantly swiveling from side to side checking for traffic. When it looks like he's almost finished, I decided to honk the horn (without him seeing me). I've never seen anyone move so fast! Fortunately, he didn't hurt himself. Unfortunately, he wasn't quite finished. He thought he had missed a car traveling one way while he was looking the other! When he realized whose horn was honked, I thought I'd choke from the laughter at the look of disbelief on his face! His innocent, sweet girlfriend had an ornery streak. Obviously, he's gotten me back in other ways since then but we both still laugh and are thankful that he didn't zip too fast!

Joke stolen from: FarmJokes.com

"Yes, I came face to face with a lion once. And as luck would have it, I was alone and without a gun."What did you do?"What could I do? First, I tried looking straight into his eyes but he slowly came toward me. I moved back, but he kept coming nearer. I had to think fast."How did you get away?"I just left him and passed on to another cage."

Joke stolen from: FarmJokes.com

My sister, who was only 12 at the time and never ridden a horse in her life, was hoisted onto the back of a beaut stallion. She was led out into the bush by a stable hand, but on the ride back, the horse went bezerk and took off like a bat out of hell. I'm told they do that on the ride back to their stables. The only thing my sister could do was to lean far forward, pull her knees up high and clamp them down onto the saddle, grab the reigns close together with her head right down, touching her chin on the saddle, bottom in the air. My parents were having tea on the porch with the cousins when she went careering by. Cousin Charles sips his tea and comments, "Why, I didn't know little Kathy could ride a horse like that!" To which my mother screamed, jumping up, "She can't!" Poor child ended up going right over the horse's head once it came to a full halt. She never rode a horse again. Suwan claims he's remained free from stomach problems, and increased his sexual power.

Joke stolen from: FarmJokes.com

We don't get spring fever in Oklahoma, mainly because we don't have spring here. Oh, we have four seasons all right:

Almost Summer

Summer

Still Summer

Christmas

In response to Serena from Texas' comments on the weather: Sounds like here in Vegas. It doesn't rain for 9 months and then we have floods that float away mobile homes. Luckily we have storm drains (also known as the streets) And every year, a dozen bozos get their cars stuck in 6 feet of water in an underpass under the freeway.

Right now it's in the 70's and windy. The 90 mph winds two weeks ago were a real hoot. 2 years ago we had our hottest day of the year (116 degrees) in mid-May. When I leave the house, I am not sure if I should wear a ski parka or a swimsuit. I have to wear earmuffs to keep the blowing sand out of my ears, no matter how hot it is.