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Two husbands were discussing their married lives. Although happily married, they admitted that there were arguments sometimes. The first man said, "I've made one great discovery. I now know how to always have the last word."

"Wow!" said the other, "how did you manage that?"

"It's easy," he replied. "My last word is always 'Yes, Dear.' "

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A guy walks into a bar with a hunk of pavement under his arm.

The bartender looks at the pavement for a bit and then finally says, "What'll ya have?"

The guys says, "One for me and one for the road."

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One night last week, my boyfriend and I were sitting on the couch, talking and listening to music by candlelight. He asks me if I have any Blistex, and I say sure, just a sec. I rummaged through my purse until I found the little white squeegee tube, handed it to him, and he put it on. Imagine the look on my face the next morning when I picked it up off the coffee table - it was Monistat cream. Nancy

Love the farmjokes, especially the embarrassing moments' stories; brought to mind an extended family dinner, when the subject of my granddad twitching while he sleeps arose, when my grandmother announced at the top of her voice, audible to everyone in the restaurant that yes, Granddad jerks off all night!! To this day she doesn't understand the implications of what she said! Debbie Perth, Western Australia

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Psychology was tried on a difficult hiccough case. All simple remedies had failed and the physician, knowing that his patient was an old tightwad, resorted to a stratagem. He administered a new, inexpensive medicine which drew from the patient an inquiry as to its contents. "Chiefly musk," said the doctor.

"But isn't that the expensive stuff they use in perfumes?"

"Yes," said the doctor. "Each dose of this costs thirty dollars." The hiccoughs immediately stopped.

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Okay this will get your juices flowing...Barry White's music will be used to serenade sharks to mate. The experiment just in time for the big V day was decided after biologists realized that lobsters mated more rapidly once the Great White's (Barry) music was piped into their aquarium.

Fish are known to process music similar to humans. This was discovered at the Rowland Institute in Cambridge, Mass., where scientist found fish appreciate different types of melodies....okay Sony..where is the fish walkman?