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"We were driving along a country road when we passed a bull mounting a cow in a pasture. My 10 year old sister asked our Mom what they were doing and Mom said "They're having sex, dear." My sister, looking very puzzled replied "Well, she doesn't look very excited about it!"

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My neighbor left her precious bird with my husband and I to take care of while she was away.

I didn't realize that I needed to also be alert to my husband's activities! Less than an hour after I had Tweety all situated, my husband managed to accidentally let the bird out of the cage. Tweety flew from the cage to the drapes to the picture frames to the window to the door frame to the ceiling light, with the cat and my husband in hot pursuit.

He finally managed to nab Tweety, only to discover that in the course of the chase, the poor bird had apparantly broken a leg! He frantically went through the first aid kit trying to find something to splint the leg with.

Finding nothing small enough, he settled on a wooden kitchen match and some soft cotton thread. After gently applying the splint, he carefully put Tweety back into his cage, and was delighted that the bird attempted to stand and walk!

Imagine his horror, and mine, when the sandpaper that the cage was lined with ignited the match tied to Tweety's leg! Tweety Toast!

That was the last time I did any animal-sitting!

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Two little rabbits were running for their lives in front of a pack of wolves. The one in front yelled over his shoulder, "Follow me, I know where there is a place we can hide 'til we outnumber em!"

The other yelled back, "Keep running, you fool! I'm your brother!"

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While driving through Buffalo after a heavy snow storm, a motorist noted a cop, apparently waist deep in snow, directing traffic. Feeling sorry for him, the motorist called out "I'm sorry you have to work half buried in the snow."

The cop called back "Don't feel sorry for me, feel sorry for my horse!"

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Well I realy know what it is to come from a small town. In one night someone stole the local post office and they still have not found it. That was several years ago. They think the person responsible was from out of town, as I was told by the local Sheriff. You may think I am kidding but its true the post office was in an old trailer sized shed and someone took it and left the mail sitting on the lawn! Sean