Grin Reaper

Joke stolen from: Grin Reaper

Lance Armstrong and Sheryl Crow broke up. The relationship ended because Sheryl wanted to get married but Lance didn't have the balls.

Joke stolen from: Grin Reaper

Hollywood private investigator Anthony Pellicano has been indicted for tapping phones to find embarrassing information about Sylvester Stallone. Wait a minute ... who the hell needs a private investigator to find embarrassing information about Sylvester Stallone?

Joke stolen from: Grin Reaper

Coalition: One or more nations whose leaders have been duped, pressured or bribed into supporting ill-conceived, unnecessary, under-planned and/or illegal US military operations.

Joke stolen from: Grin Reaper

Economic Recovery: When three out of five software engineers who lost their jobs to outsourcing are able to find part-time work at Wal-Mart.

Joke stolen from: Grin Reaper

Impolite Things to Say at a Wake

* So, what are you gonna do with his golf clubs?

* Who do I talk to about his bar tab?

* Of course you'll miss him, he didn't molest you.

* How long you think until he starts to stink?

* Wow! Other than his wife, is there anyone in this room he didn't bang?

* Say what you will, Madame Toussot does nice work.

* It's weird not seeing him drunk.

* I always thought he was gay.

* Isn't that suit gonna be a little warm for Hell?

* So now that you're a widow, what do you do? Masturbate?

* I was there when he died. Man, what a baby.

~ Copyright by Paul Gilmartin ~ http://paulgilmartin.com/