Joke stolen from: Joann

A bricklayer at my husband's construction job routinely complained about the contents of his lunch box. "I'm sick and tired of getting the same old thing!" he shouted one day. "Tonight I'll set my wife straight." The next day the men could hardly wait until lunch time to hear what happened. "You bet I told her off," the bricklayer boasted. "I said, 'No more of the same old stuff. Be creative!' We had one heck of a fight, but I got my point across." He had indeed. In front of an admiring audience, he opened his lunch box to find that his wife had packed a coconut and a hammer.

Joke stolen from: Joann

Joke stolen from: Joann

This guy and his girlfriend lived in Austin and they decided to go and see the northern lights. They figured that they would just drive north on I-35 until they got to the end and that should do it. So, they set out on their trip and they're both very excited. They are so excited that it is all they can talk about.

Well, after a couple of days they get to the end of I-35 just south of the Canadian border. They find a nice field to park in and the entire sky is lit up with the beautiful northern lights. The guy, who's been driving, leaps out of the car at the wonder of it all; he's jumping up and down like a little kid.

Meanwhile, his girlfriend is still sitting in the car and reading a magazine. He can't believe it! So he says, "What's the matter? ...Does the aurora bore ya, Alice?"

Joke stolen from: Joann

Joe, a friend of mine, got into a dispute with a friend of his, Fred.

Fred had pulled some rather nasty pranks on him.

To get even, Joe got under the hood of Fred's car, took the tops off the battery cells, and put about a tablespoonful of table salt into each cell.

This not only precipitated the lead sulfate in the battery acid as pretty but useless cubical crystals of PbCl2, but gave of HCl fumes which corroded parts of the engine.

Fred figured out who'd done it and Joe was caught.

He thought he would just have to make restitution, but Fred had a brother in the prosecutor's office.

He's now facing trial on a-saltin' a battery. Not to mention SODIUMy

Joke stolen from: Joann

The sign on Cheney's desk:

"The buckshot stops here"