Joke A Day

Joke stolen from: Joke A Day

Out on CNN's site this morning I saw a banner which read,

"Our Best Rates -- Guaranteed The Hilton Family"


I wrote 'em and asked, "How much for Paris for a couple of hours?"

Joke stolen from: Joke A Day

I was shopping in a department store with my 4-year-old grandson. I promised him that we would go to the toy department, but I stopped in the ladies clothing department first.

It seems that he couldn't wait that long: one second he was holding onto my pant skirt and the next, he had vanished.I panicked and looked everywhere, but I couldn't find him.

I went to the customer service desk to have them announce his name over the P.A. system, and to my relief he was already there waiting for me. The woman at the desk told me that my grandson had asked them to call me over the P.A., but he didn't know my name.

So they asked him what his dad, and my son, called me. He answered "Mom."Then they asked what his grandpa, my husband, called me. "Sugar," he replied.

So then they asked what his mommy (my daughter-in-law) called me. Very clearly, he said, "A Bitch."

On the way home, we practiced my "real" name until I was confident that he would use it the next time

Joke stolen from: Joke A Day

Remember President Bush's trip to England a couple of months ago? Seems the Brits were a little upset with Dubya. In fact, in a speech the mayor of London described Bush as "the greatest threat to life on this planet."

After hearing this President Bush said, "That's ridiculous. What about Godzilla?"

-- Conan O'Brien

Joke stolen from: Joke A Day

Country Rap Songs:

The Devil Went Down to Compton

Illin', Chillin', 'n' Mesquite Grillin'

My Wife is Phatt and My Kidz are Stoopid!

All my Exes Drive Gold Lexuses

Muthaz, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Crackheads

Gettin' Jiggy with My Piggy

Take This Glock and Load it

I Got Tears in My Ears From When You Bitch Slapped Me

Joke stolen from: Joke A Day

I remember one time being outside a topless bar watching a demonstration by feminists. They were marching around, holding signs, and chanting, "FREE WOMEN! FREE WOMEN!"

As I went into the bar I asked one lady, "Do you deliver?"