Joke stolen from: Kathy

BREAKING NEWS from globeandmail.com, Thursday, June 27, 2002

Suspected killer giraffe commits suicide Agence France Presse

Nairobi A giraffe suspected of killing a U.S. pastor at a luxury Kenya hotel jumped to his death from a cliff after resisting attempts to examine its hooves for bloodstains, the hotel manager said Wednesday.

"The giraffe was darted and I am told it went over the side of a cliff," Aberdare Country Club general manager James Drysdale said.

Police said an aroused giraffe was the prime suspect in the death Sunday of a middle-aged American pastor resident in Kenya who was found in the hotel's private game sanctuary.

The suspected rogue giraffe was tracked down and caught by Kenya Wildlife Service officials who injected it with a tranquilizer.

"The animal, being an animal, did what it wanted to do. Perhaps in its drugged state did not notice there was a cliff there," said Mr. Drysdale.

"You can never get into the mind of a giraffe," he said. "They are massive animals, it's not like taking a cow for a walk. Once a giraffe takes it in its head to do something, that's it...

Mr. Drysdale said the dead giraffe's hooves had been checked to see if they bore bloodstains of the dead man but that he did not know the results.

"It is is out of the question that a lion or buffalo was responsible, because we don't have them in the park," he added.