King of all Jokes

Joke stolen from: King of all Jokes

Women always say some snide little comments when they catch a guy looking at a cute girl. My wife caught me last week. She said, "You look like a kid in a candy store!"

Thank God I'm witty, I came right back with, "Yeah, well, I'm married now... so, I'm a kid with diabetes in a candy store."

Joke stolen from: King of all Jokes

He was a dysfunctional male patient and the sex therapist was advising him on the release that could be obtained through masturbation. "Oh but I do get pleasure from my organ," he replied. "I frequently grasp my penis and hold it tight. It's a habit with me." "Well, it's a habit you'll have to shake," said the therapist.

Joke stolen from: King of all Jokes

A couple were being interviewed on their Golden Wedding Anniversary. "In all that time -- did you ever consider divorce?" they were asked. "Oh, no, not divorce," one said. "Murder sometimes, but never divorce." - Unknown

Joke stolen from: King of all Jokes

50 Years ago, 100 white men chasing one black man across a field was called the Ku Klux Klan

Today, it's called the PGA Tour.

Joke stolen from: King of all Jokes

A deaf couple checks into a motel very late at night. Upon moving into their assigned room, they go to bed. But in the middle of the night, the woman has a headache, so she goes into the bathroom for aspirin. But she finds none, and remembers that the bottle of aspirin is still in the car.

Afraid to go out alone at night, she awakens her husband and asks him to go get the aspirin from the car. The very groggy husband puts on his robe and toddles wearily outside. He finds the bottle of the aspirin in the car's glove compartment, and gets ready to go back to the room when he realises something: he can't remember which room was his! He thinks and thinks and then gets an idea. He opens the car again and honks the steering wheel horn several times. Within a minute, all the motel's windows lighten up -- except one window, and of course, he makes for the room with that window.