LABLaughsAdult

Joke stolen from: LABLaughsAdult

Perry fancied himself quite a ladies man, so when his cruise ship went down in a storm and he found himself stranded on a desert island with six women, he couldn't believe his good fortune. They quickly agreed that each woman would have one night a week with the only man. Perry threw himself into the arrangement with gusto, working even on his day off, but as the weeks stretched into months, he found himself looking forward to that day of rest more and more eagerly. One afternoon he was sitting on the beach and wishing for some more men to share his duties when he caught sight of a man waving from a life raft that was bobbing on the waves. Perry swam out, pulled the raft to shore, and did a little jig of happiness. "You can't believe how happy I am to see you," he cried. The new fellow eyed him up and down and cooed, "You're a sight for sore eyes, too, you gorgeous thing!" "Shit," sighed Perry, "there go my Sundays."

Joke stolen from: LABLaughsAdult

This morning. the math teacher singled me out to ask me, "If you have $200, and you give $60 to Mary, $60 to Sally and $60 to Susan, what would you have?" Turned out that "an orgy" was not the correct answer.

Joke stolen from: LABLaughsAdult

A college professor had the mysterious habit of walking into the lecture hall each morning, removing a tennis ball from his jacket pocket. He would set it on the corner of the podium. After giving the lecture for the day, he would once again pick up the tennis ball, place it into his jacket pocket, and leave the room. No one ever understood why he did this, until one day. . .. A student fell asleep during the lecture. The professor never missed a word of his lecture while he walked over to the podium, picked up the tennis ball and threw it, hitting the sleeping student squarely on the top of the head. The next day, the professor walked into the room, reached into his jacket, removed a baseball. . . No one ever fell asleep in his class the rest of the semester!

Joke stolen from: LABLaughsAdult

"This week in People magazine, Sarah Palin talked about her plans for her daughter's wedding. She said it's very difficult to find a dress that doesn't clash with the shotgun."

Joke stolen from: LABLaughsAdult

"Barack Obama was in Germany today, and 100,000 people showed up. There were so many Germans shouting and screaming that France surrendered just in case." -Craig Ferguson