Larry

Joke stolen from: Larry

West Virginia Troopers Do Care

I get irritated when people come down on our law enforcement officers, saying that they don't care about or respect others. Well, here is a story that clearly shows not all cops are in that category.

This story involves Troopers of the Pennsylvania State Police who reported finding a man's body last Saturday in the early evening in the Susquehanna River near Millersburg. The dead man's name would not be released until his family had been notified.

The victim apparently drowned due to excessive beer consumption while visiting "someone" in a local bar . He was wearing black fishnet stockings, 4 inch spiked heels, a red garter belt, a pink G-string, purple lipstick, dazzle dust on his eyelids, 1/2 inch false eyelashes and an Obama T-shirt.

The Troopers removed the Obama T-shirt to spare his family any unnecessary embarrassment.

See there, Pennsylvania State Troopers really do care !!

Joke stolen from: Larry

It is a slow day in the small Saskatchewan town of Pumphandle and the streets are deserted?

Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody is living on credit.

A tourist visiting the area drives through town, stops at the motel, and lays a $100 bill on the desk saying he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs to pick one for the night.

As soon as he walks upstairs, the motel owner grabs the bill and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher.

The butcher takes the $100 and runs down the street to retire his debt to the pig farmer.

The pig farmer takes the $100 and heads off to pay his bill to his supplier, the Co-op.

The guy at the Co-op takes the $100 and runs to pay his debt to the local prostitute, who has also been facing hard times and has had to offer her "services" on credit.

The hooker rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill with the hotel owner.

The hotel proprietor then places the $100 back on the counter so the traveler will not suspect anything.

At that moment the traveler comes down the stairs, states that the rooms are not satisfactory, picks up the $100 and leaves.

No one produced anything. No one earned anything. However, the whole town is now out of debt and looks to the future with a lot more optimism.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how a Stimulus Package works.

Joke stolen from: Larry

Sault Police made one arrest early this morning in solving one of the most unusual theft complaints in recent memory. According to reports, an 18-year-old Kincheloe man was carting full beer bottles through an I-75 Business Spur grocery store over to the automated return machine where he was allegedly cashing in the full containers in order to collect the deposit. His actions went unnoticed until one of the return bins was filled to capacity signaling the alarm and bringing a store employee to the scene. A total of 218 full containers of Budweiser, Bud Light, Labatt's Blue and Miller Lite, valued at $133.92 were recovered from the bin. The man was found to be in possession of receipts for the returnable containers and had also cashed at least one slip in at the register - collecting enough money to purchase some candy bars. He was arrested on a charge of larceny by conversion and lodged in the Chippewa County Jail.

Joke stolen from: Larry

Robbery Suspect Shoots Self In Genitals Shooting Caught On Surveillance Tape KOKOMO, Ind. -- Police said a Kokomo man accidentally shot himself in the genitals while robbing a convenience store early Tuesday. Kokomo police said they were called to a Village Pantry store at about 4:20 a.m. after a call from a clerk. The female clerk told police that a man came into the store with a semiautomatic handgun, grabbed her hair and demanded cash and cigarettes before handing her a white cloth bag, WRTV-TV in Indianapolis reported. The clerk said that as she retrieved the cigarettes, she heard a gunshot and turned to confront the man, who yelled that he had shot himself. "The bullet traveled through his right testicle ... and then into the bottom part of his leg," Kokomo police Lt. Don Whitehead said. Police said the man, whom they identified as 25-year-old Derrick Kosch, grabbed the bag full of cash and fled the store. In-store surveillance cameras showed that Kosch shot himself as he placed the gun into the waistband of his pants, police said. Shortly after the robbery, dispatchers got a call from someone in a home located several blocks away from the store about a man who was shot. When officers arrived, they found Kosch. The home belongs to his grandmother, police said. "He said he had been shot (and) someone was trying to rob him," said the grandmother, who was not named. "In the meantime, I found out that he was trying to rob somebody else." Kosch was taken to a hospital for treatment. Officers said that while at the home, they found the bag of money that was taken from the convenience store and clothes seen on the robber in the surveillance tape. Police said Kosch was arrested on robbery and criminal recklessness charges. Police said they were looking for the gun.