Laugh-A-Day

Joke stolen from: Laugh-A-Day

"Everyone is talking about the big snowstorm expected to hit New York and Washington, D.C. You know it's cold outside when the Washington Monument actually shrinks about 40 feet." -Jimmy Fallon

Joke stolen from: Laugh-A-Day

"One adult video website announced it would donate snow removal services to several cities in the Northeast because it wants to 'plow Boston.' Very generous. I'm not sure I trust the porn industry with city services. I mean, these people can barely deliver a pizza." -Stephen Colbert

Joke stolen from: Laugh-A-Day

"Representative Jason Chaffetz says poor people need to choose between healthcare or a new iPhone. Did I hear him correctly? Is he saying health insurance costs the same as a phone? The real problem is he's talking to the American people like he's talking to his own kids. 'Maybe if you mowed lawns over the summer like I told you, you could afford that new kidney that you wanted.'" -James Corden

Joke stolen from: Laugh-A-Day

"Representative Jason Chaffetz says poor people need to choose between healthcare or a new iPhone. Did I hear him correctly? Is he saying health insurance costs the same as a phone? The real problem is he's talking to the American people like he's talking to his own kids. 'Maybe if you mowed lawns over the summer like I told you, you could afford that new kidney that you wanted.'" -James Corden

Joke stolen from: Laugh-A-Day

"YouTube temporarily pulled a New York zoo's live stream of a giraffe giving birth, after some complained that it was sexually explicit. I just want to say if you are watching an animal give birth and you think this is too sexy, the problem is you." -James Corden