Laugh-A-Day

Joke stolen from: Laugh-A-Day

"Some scientists now believe that Jesus Christ had a wife. They also believe that Jesus' nephew called Jesus' wife the "Auntie Christ.'" -Conan O'Brien

Joke stolen from: Laugh-A-Day

"A new survey found that 81 percent of parents admit to stealing Easter candy from their children. While the other 19 percent of parents don't think it counts as stealing if you bought the candy in the first place." -Jimmy Fallon

Joke stolen from: Laugh-A-Day

"Nearly 1 million adults in the U.S. are in a same-sex marriage. That's compared to the nearly 40 million adults in a no-sex marriage." -Conan O'Brien

Joke stolen from: Laugh-A-Day

Jesus was hanging from the cross and he called out to Peter.

"Peter, I need to see you."

Peter tried to get to the cross but the Roman soldiers fought him back.

Jesus again said, "Peter, please come here. I want to tell you something."

Again Peter tries to fight his way through the guards but once again they stop him.

One more time, Jesus says, "Peter, please, I need to tell you something.

This time, Peter musters up all of his strength, manages to get past the guards, goes up to the cross and says, "Yes my Lord, what do you want to tell me."

Jesus replies, "I can see your house from up here."

Joke stolen from: Laugh-A-Day

Two resident doctors were involved in a fight in the hospital. A senior consultant had to pull them apart. "What's all this about?" asked the consultant angrily.

"It's the tax auditor in C ward," said one. "He's only got 2 days to live."

"He had to be told." said the second doctor.

"I know," said the first, "but I wanted to be the one to tell him!"