Natetech_Nasties

Joke stolen from: Natetech_Nasties

A handicapped Vietnam veteran is limping down the street, dragging his right foot along behind him. He looks up and sees another guy about his age walking toward him. This guy is also dragging his right foot along behind him. Another disabled Joe! The Nam vet walks up to him, grabs him by the hand and says, "Mekong Delta, 1969." The other guy grins and says, "Dog shit, five minutes ago!"

Joke stolen from: Natetech_Nasties

One day, a gorilla was lying in a cool lake, when the silence was interrupted by some sounds from a tree nearby. The gorilla looked around, and saw Tarzan the ape-man humping a tree vigorously. He was a fine, young, good-looking man. The gorilla called out from the lake, "Excuse me, sir! Why are you doing that?" They then started talking (Tarzan in the tree, gorilla in the lake), and Tarzan just kept thinking, "Wow, she's nice. I wish she would let me hump her". To his surprise, the gorilla said in a sultry voice, "Come down here a second". Tarzan energetically leapt from the tree, and stood by the lake. "If you want to hump something," the gorilla said, "take off your loincloth and wrap it around your eyes like a blindfold". "Why?" asked Tarzan. "I'm a little self-conscious" replied the ape. Tarzan agreed, took off his loincloth and wrapped it around his eyes like a blindfold. He heard the gorilla getting out of the lake and telling him, "Hump this". Tarzan stretched out his arms, feeling for what it was the ape was talking about. He felt some fur. He started rubbing his cock against it, until he found an opening. He started humping it, heartily, enjoying every single thrust of his penis into this furry object. After the warm cum exploded from his red-hot penis, Tarzan took off his "blindfold" and found himself staring into the gorilla's ass. "Thanks for letting me do that to you" he said kindly. The next day, the gorilla lay in the lake, and heard a different sound coming from the tree. Looking up, the gorilla noticed the horny Tarzan again, only this time, the ape-man wasn't humping anything; he was licking his fingers well, then wiping them on his cock and balls. He repeated this action several times. The gorilla called out to him from the river again, "Excuse me, sir! Why are you doing that?" "I'm too shy to ask anyone to blow me, so I'm doing it myself", Tarzan replied. "Come down here a second," said the gorilla in the same soft voice. Tarzan obeyed, grinning, and leapt from the tree to the side of the river. "Take off your loincloth and use it as a blindfold again". "Why?" asked Tarzan, "I've already screwed you". "Please,"begged the gorilla, "I'm really self- conscious". "What the hell," thought Tarzan, "She's nice". He took off his loincloth and wrapped it round his eyes again, like a blindfold. "Kneel down," said the gorilla, and Tarzan obeyed. He heard the gorilla stepping out of the lake again. Tarzan couldn't believe his luck, when he was finally being sucked off, licked in both cock and balls, and jerked off simultaneously by the gorilla. After shooting out the biggest amount of cum in his life, Tarzan took off his "blindfold" and found himself staring into the gorilla's face. "Thanks for blowing me," he said politely. The next day, the gorilla was lying in the lake again, when a different sound was heard coming from the trees. This time, the gorilla saw a horny Tarzan holding two big melons in his hands, rubbing his face in them and licking them. "Excuse me, sir! Why are you doing that?" "I want to lick a woman's tits, but I'm too shy to ask, so I settled for these melons as substitutes!" Tarzan replied. The gorilla sighed and said, "Come down here a second," in that sexy voice again. Tarzan excitedly leapt from the tree and stood by the lake. "Blindfolded?" asked Tarzan. The gorilla nodded, and Tarzan took off his loincloth, wrapping it around his eyes again, like a blindfold. Again, he heard the gorilla coming out of the lake. "Start playing", he heard the gorilla say. Tarzan stretched out his hands, looking for the tits. When he finally found them, he went wild; he licked them, sucked on them, rubbed his face in them, rubbed his cock between them and continuously rubbed them with his palms. After hearing a quiet groan, Tarzan took off his "blindfold" and found himself staring into the gorilla's balls...