Oracle Service Humor Mailing List

Joke stolen from: Oracle Service Humor Mailing List

It was mealtime during our trip on a small airline in the Northwest.

"Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked the man seated in front of me.

"What are my choices?" he asked.

"Yes or no," she replied.

Joke stolen from: Oracle Service Humor Mailing List

One night a pastor was attempting to get his 14 year old son to study for a test.

He said, "Son, when Abraham Lincoln was your age, he walked 14 miles in the snow to get to school and every night, he came home and studied and did his homework for the next day."

To this his son replied, "Dad, when Abraham Lincoln was your age, he was the President of the United States of America."

Joke stolen from: Oracle Service Humor Mailing List

A family was having dinner on Mother's Day. For some reason the mother was unusually quiet. Finally the husband asked what was wrong.

"Nothing," said the woman.

Not buying it, he asked again. "Seriously, what's wrong?"

"Do you really want to know? Well, I'll tell you. I have cooked and cleaned and fed the kids for 15 years and on Mother's Day, you don't even tell me so much as "Thank you."

"Why should I?" he said. "Not once in 15 years have I gotten a Father's Day gift."

"Yes," she said, "but I'm their real mother."

Joke stolen from: Oracle Service Humor Mailing List

This virus works on the honor system.

Please delete all the files on your hard disk, then forward this message to everyone you know.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Joke stolen from: Oracle Service Humor Mailing List

Father visiting America, from Europe, for the very first time. Goes up & down the isles with his son, at the local Giant Food Store.

"Vas diss?? Powdered Orange Juice??"

"Yeh, Dad. You just add a little water, and you have fresh 'orange juice'."

.........a few minutes later, in a different isle........

" Und vas dis?? Powdered milk?? "

Yeh, Dad. You just add a little water, and you have fresh milk!"

........a few minutes later, in a different isle........

"Und give a kook here!! Baby Powder !! Vat a country, vat a country!!"