Ron44400

Joke stolen from: Ron44400

Sam is over at Anne's house to meet her parents for the first time.

Since her parents weren't home when they arrived, they decided to "break in" Anne's old room with an afternoon of sex.

During supper Sam figured it was a good time to get on the right side of his future mother-in-law. Turning to Anne's mother Sam remarked, "These are excellent fishcakes."

Anne pulled Sam close to her and whispered in his ear, "Go and wash your hands, those are peanut butter cookies!"

Joke stolen from: Ron44400

Two families move from Saudi Arabia to America.

When they arrive, the fathers make each other a bet in a year's time, whichever family has become more American will win.

A year later when they meet again, the first guy says, "My son's playing baseball, I had McDonald's for breakfast and I'm on my way to pick up a case of Bud for tonight.

How about you?"

The second guy says, "Fuck you, rag-head!"

Joke stolen from: Ron44400

Q: What is 40 feet long and smells like urine?

A: Line dancing at the nursing home.

Joke stolen from: Ron44400

Ways to Annoy NASCAR Fans

Spell Gordon or Earnhardt incorrectly (i.e. Gordan or Earnhart).

Delay the Daytona 500 race to watch Ice Dancing from Salt Lake City.

Drive slowly in the fast lane.

Let a corporate executive say, "Gentlemen, Start Your Engines!" with as much flair as a stick.

Change the color of the car every year so they have to buy new merchandise.

Pass them on the highway.

Bash country music, rednecks, and Craftsman tools all in the same sentence.

Cut away to commercials at key pivotal moments in the race.

Tell them you've got tickets AND a pit pass to Bristol in August.

Say it isn't a sport.

Joke stolen from: Ron44400

Q:Where do one legged people work?

A:IHOP!!