Ruminations

Joke stolen from: Ruminations

Never lick the carpet if a dog lives there. Come to think of it, you might want to ixnay on the licking of all carpets.

(Travis Ruetenik / @b0nrmunky)

Joke stolen from: Ruminations

It seems like nobody's interested in having their love justified anymore.

(R.M. Weiner / @rmfnord)

Joke stolen from: Ruminations

I don't know why people say, "It's so hard to quit." It's really easy when it's something you didn't want to do in the first place.

(R.M. Weiner / @rmfnord)

Joke stolen from: Ruminations

I finally had enough of the dog next door talking to me every day, telling me I needed to kill people, so I sought professional help. And let me tell you, hit-men are NOT cheap.

(Jerry L. Embry)

Joke stolen from: Ruminations

The rain falls upon the just and unjust alike - though the rain that falls upon the just tends to be yellower.

(The Covert Comic / @covertcomic)