Stolen Jokes

Joke stolen from: Stolen Jokes

What do you call a Roman with hair between his teeth? Gladiator.

Joke stolen from: Stolen Jokes

A young woman went to an evening class to improve her sexual capabilities. When she gets there, she sees an apple, an orange and a pear hanging on strings from the ceiling, and a piece of chalk and a black-board. "What is all this for?" she asked. The instructor tells her to stand between the hanging fruit, and she does. "Now," said the instructor, "swing your hips to the left and touch the apple, now swing your hips to the right and touch the pear, then swing your hips forward and touch the orange." The young woman starts to rotate her hips, and soon gets a good rhythm going. "This is great," she said enthusiastically "but what is the chalk for?" "When you've got the hang of the fruit," said the instructor, "I want you to stick the chalk up your ass and write 'Mississippi' on the black-board twenty times."

Joke stolen from: Stolen Jokes

Each day a man walked into his stable to ride his horse, John. He would call out, "Hey there, John, old buddy, how's everything today?" and then bridle his horse. One day while going through this routine he said, "Hey there, John..." when, to his surprise, the horse turned around and interrupted him! He said, "For months now, you've walked in here and said, 'Hey there, John, old buddy, how's everything today?' and I'm tired of it! You never wait for an answer, and besides, my name is Randy!" And with that, the horse took off running! Shocked, the owner took off after the horse trying to catch it. Seeing the pursuit, his dog joined the chase. After a while the man became tired and stopped to rest at the side of the road. He took out his handkerchief and wiped his face as his dog, who had continued the chase, came back also now breathless, and sat down beside him. The man wondered aloud, "I've never heard a horse talk before!" "Me neither!" said the dog, gasping for air.

Joke stolen from: Stolen Jokes

Did you know that Muslims face Mecca to pray; New York Reform Jews face the 'Stage Delicatessen'; and Boston Priests face the Jury.

Joke stolen from: Stolen Jokes

Five Most Ridiculous Things Sold on eBay: 1. A five-inch Triscuit, apparently not cut into individual crackers at the factory, $20.00 2. The town of Bridgeville, CA, including 82 acres and a zip code, $1.78 million 3. Size 9 work boot, right foot only; "Somebody stole the left," $1.25 4. A ballpoint pen with the Enron logo; Enron who? $42.00 5. An imaginary girlfriend to send you photos and letters; After 30 days, "just think up a crazy story and dump me," wrote the seller. $81.00