Stupid Quotes

Joke stolen from: Stupid Quotes

"I have not reneged on my promise. I have changed my mind."

- NY gubernatorial candidate Pierre Rinfret, on why he released only one of the tax returns he had promised to show the public

"I told you to make one longer than another, and instead you have made one shorter than the other -- the opposite."

- Sir Boyle Roche, British statesman and father of the verbal blunder

Joke stolen from: Stupid Quotes

"I went in and said 'If I see one more gratuitous shot of a woman's body, I'm quitting'... I think the show should be emotional story lines, morals, real-life heroes. And that's what we're doing ... "

- David Hasselhoff, star of "Baywatch"

"A jolly bunch of our young people went on a kayaking expedition Sunday that resulted in many exposures and a very enjoyable time."

- item in the Bald Knob (Arizona) Eagle

Joke stolen from: Stupid Quotes

"There's a stalled car going west on Sunset Highway."

- traffic broadcaster's warning (quoted by James J. Kilpatrick in "The Writer's Art")

Joke stolen from: Stupid Quotes

"I usually take a two-hour nap, from one o'clock to four." - Yogi Berra, explaining what he does before night games

"If I didn't wake up, I'd still be sleeping." - Yogi Berra

Joke stolen from: Stupid Quotes

"Tuesday Night at the Movies will be seen on Saturday this week instead of Monday."

- television announcer