Joke stolen from: Sunder

From : A pakistani newspaper called Dawn

Bush, 'please don't bomb Apatzingan'. -------------------------------------

MEXICO CITY, Sept 22: Mr. Bush, please don't bomb Apatzingan. That essentially was the plea made by the mayor of a small Mexican town who evidently misheard Afghanistan as "Apatzingan".

"Mr President Bush, I swear by what I hold dearest, which is my political carreer, that Apatzingan never had any active or moral role in the bloody events at the twin towers and the Pentagon," Mayor Jorge Luis Castaneda said in a letter to the US leader.

The government-run Notimex news agency said Castaneda had already sent off the letter before aides told him Afghanistan, not Apatzingan was the likely target of US retaliatory strikes. "Well, I did send it off, *just in case*" Castaneda said.-AFP

Joke stolen from: Sunder

A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said, "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."

In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus.

The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong. "The bus driver insulted me," she fumed. The man sympathized and said: "Why, he's a public servant and shouldn't say things to insult passengers." "You're right" she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind."

"That's a good idea" the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."

Joke stolen from: Sunder

Essay on the Holy Cow.

You'll forget your English by the time you finish reading this. ( you have to know the context: the fact that this is indeed possible in real life.)

CALCUTTA's "The Telegraph" has got hold of an answer paper of a candidate at the recent UPSC examinations. The candidate has written an essay on the Indian cow: HE IS THE COW "The cow is a successful animal. Also he is quadrupud, and because he is female, he give milk, but will do so when he is got child. He is same like-God, sacred to Hindus and useful to man. But he has got four legs together. Two are forward and two are afterwards. His whole body can be utilised for use. More so the milk. What can it do? Various ghee, butter, cream, curd, why and the condensed milk and so forth. Also he is useful to cobbler, watermans and mankind generally. His motion is slow only because he is of asitudinious species. Also his other motion is much useful to trees, plants as well as making flat cakes in hand and drying in the sun. Cow is the only animal that extricates his feeding after eating. Then afterwards she chew with his teeth whom are situated in the inside of the mouth. He is incessantly in the meadows in the grass. His only attacking and defending organ is the horn, specially so when he is got child. This is done by knowing his head whereby he causes the weapons to be paralleled to the ground of the earth and instantly proceed with great velocity forwards. He has got tails also, but not like similar animals. It has hairs on the other end of the other side. This is done to frighten away the flies which alight on his cohesive body whereupon he gives hit with it. The palms of his feet are soft unto the touch. So the grasses head is not crushed. At night time have poses by looking down on the ground and he shouts. His eyes like his relatives, the horse does not do so. This is the cow."