That's Funny

Joke stolen from: That's Funny

Over drinks one evening two gentleman were having a discussion about the charms, or lack there-of, of the actress Sharon Stone.

"I say she's highly over-rated," said one "Take away her eyes, her lips, her legs and her figure, and what have ya got ?

"My wife !" said the other with a heavy sigh.

Joke stolen from: That's Funny

If Bill Gates had a penny for every time Windows crashed......Oh wait, he does.

Joke stolen from: That's Funny

I had the nicest neighbours one time named Max and Lynn. Lynn was a true Southern Belle if there ever was one. Her husband and I were laughing at a sexist joke and my wife said, "Men are all alike!" Lynn smiled coyly and said, "Men are all Ah like too."

Joke stolen from: That's Funny

A girl went over to her friend and said, "I hear you broke off your engagement to Bob. Why?"

"It's just that my feelings towards him aren't the same any more."

"Are you returning his diamond ring?"

"No way! My feelings towards the ring haven't changed a bit!"

Joke stolen from: That's Funny

Flying home after visiting her daughter in England, she arranged to have her husband meet her plane at the Vancouver, B.C. airport.

This meant a stop at the border crossing between the United States and Canada, where her husband was asked: "What is your reason for entering the country?" and "How long are you planning to stay?"

He replied that he was picking his wife up at the airport after her trip to England.

Without missing a beat, the guard asked two more questions in the same businesslike tone: "Is the house clean?" and, "Are there fresh flowers on the table?"