The Daily Dose

Joke stolen from: The Daily Dose

Gastonia, NC - A woman hitchhiker who said she stripped to attract a ride attracted instead a state trooper who charged her with indecent exposure. The German tourist told the trooper she was hitchhiking from Atlanta to Norfolk, Va where she hoped to locate her friend. At least eight motorists called 911 on their cell phones instead of stopping. The trooper who charged the woman said she was standing at an exit ramp carrying her coat, a change of clothes and a passport. (AP)

Joke stolen from: The Daily Dose

Hanover, Germany - A German solarium owner said he is offering free sessions to clients who consented to nude pictures of their time under the lamp being posted on an Internet website. Manuel Scholz, who runs a tanning center in the northern city of Hanover, said the offer has already been taken up by a woman who achieved national fame in Germany recently by taking a shower live in front of millions of viewers of a "real life" TV show which followed the intimate lives of ordinary Germans. Scholz says, "This is not about pornography. This is about lifestyle." (Reuters)

Joke stolen from: The Daily Dose

The banker had called the man in to talk about his account. "Your financial affairs are in a mess. Your wife constantly overdraws your account. She is behind in her charge accounts at the department store, and her check stubs are all added wrong. Why don't you talk to her about it?"

"Because," said the man, "I would rather argue with you than with her."

Joke stolen from: The Daily Dose

Coventry, RI - Some folks hand out business cards, others try resumes. But police in Rhode Island say one man went a little too far in displaying his assets. Authorities charge that David Compton put his own nude photo under the windshield wipers of parked cars, then watched for a reaction. He tried the stunt at a Wal-Mart, putting the photo on the windshield of a young woman's car and then allegedly followed her to see her reaction. He's been charged with disorderly conduct and stalking. (AP)

Joke stolen from: The Daily Dose

Larry Lands Sr. suffered a shotgun wound to one of his legs. The assailant was a dead turkey.

Larry Sr. and his son, Larry Jr., had been out poaching in Washington County, Missouri, when Larry Jr. spotted an eastern wild turkey.

After successfully calling the bird in to his range, Larry Jr. shot the bird. It was not yet the season for wild turkey hunts, so Larry Jr. had to hurry up and bag the bird as fast as he could, tossing the prize into the trunk of their car, along with his semi-automatic shotgun.

After several minutes of sounds coming from the trunk of the car, the Lands duo stopped their car to investigate. (For those of you unaware of the neurological phenomenon of fowl, turkeys, much like chickens, have an pseudo-active nervous system which can last many minutes even after the body has died.)

Upon opening the trunk of the car, they saw the turkey, standing on its own two feet, flapping its wings and obviously reacting in the way that dying birds behave.

Unsure of what to do, they slammed shut the trunk of the car, at which point the turkey slipped onto the shotgun's trigger, discharging a round through the body of the car, and lodging itself into the leg of Mr. Lands Sr.