The Daily Dose

Joke stolen from: The Daily Dose

Joke stolen from: The Daily Dose

The smog was so bad in Los Angeles that I felt the sights and went back home!

Joke stolen from: The Daily Dose

The head waiter of a five-star, elegant restaurant recoiled in disgust as a man in muddy hip wader boots, frayed and torn jeans, dirty leather jacket, long stringy dirty hair and a beard with flecks of long-ago food marched right towards him. The man said, "Yo, bucko, where's your john?"

The head waiter calmly replied, "Go down the hall and turn left. When you see the sign marked 'Gentlemen', pay absolutely no attention to it and go right inside."

Joke stolen from: The Daily Dose

Cordell Hull, the American secretary of state from 1933 to 1944, was reputed to be an extremely cautious man, ungiven to advancing an inch past the evidence, as perhaps befits a secretary of state.

Once, on a train trip, Hull and a companion watched while the locomotive dragged its load of cars slowly past a large flock of sheep.

Making conversation, Hull's companion said, "Those sheep have been recently sheared."

Hull stared thoughtfully at the animals, then said, "Appears so. At least on the side facing us."

Joke stolen from: The Daily Dose

At a dinner in a Milwaukee club in honor of Indian visitors, tablecloths of handwoven, hand-printed Indian fabric were used.

"We hope it makes you feel at home," said a member to one of the Indian guests.

The Indian visitor smiled in acknowledgment, then voiced a complaint husbands the world over will recognize.

"The difficulty is," he said, "I can't get my wife to use these. She thinks she has to have Irish linen."