The Daily Dose

Joke stolen from: The Daily Dose

"Facts are stupid things." -- Ronald Reagan, misquoting John Adams in a speech to the Republican convention

Joke stolen from: The Daily Dose

Lanahan's hair kept falling out and he complained to his barber. "That stuff you gave me," he cried, "is terrible. You said two bottles of it would make me hair grow, but nothing's happened."

"I don't understand it," said the barber. "That's the best hair restorer made."

"Well," said Lanahan "I don't mind drinking another bottle, but it better work."

Joke stolen from: The Daily Dose

TRAVEL TIP

Here's a little tip from me to you as an experienced traveler.

Wake-up calls: worst way to wake up. The phone rings; it's loud; you can't turn it down.

I leave the number of the room next to me, and then it rings kind of quiet, and you hear a guy yell, "What are you calling me for?"

Then you get up and take a shower. It's great.

Joke stolen from: The Daily Dose

I heard Jeff Smith, aka The Frugal Gourmet, read the following quote on the air. Apparently it was in a letter from a viewer:

"I have had my turkey in the freezer for a year and a half. Will it take longer to thaw?"

Joke stolen from: The Daily Dose

A GOOD "LITTLE JOHNNY" STORY

Little Johnny has been bringing his drawings home from kindergarten everyday since he started a month ago. Each day his mother admires the pictures and hangs them on the refrigerator. One thing starts bothering her though. Little Johnny only uses black and browns for his drawings.

Fearing a problem with her young son and not wanting to make it worse, she decides to take him to a child psychologist.

The psychologist delicately goes to work. He gives Johnny a battery of psychological tests. He chats with Johnny. Everything seems perfectly normal. Everyday for two weeks, the tests continue. Yet everyday, little Johnny continues to bring home drawings in only black and brown. Frustrated at not being able to get to the root of the problem and fearful that something is terribly wrong, the child psychologist decides to give little Johnny some paper and a box of crayons and observe what happens.

Little Johnny opens the box of crayons and says, "Oh boy! A new box of crayons! At school we only have old boxes. The only ones left in mine are black and brown!"