The Joke Doctor

Joke stolen from: The Joke Doctor

After the fall in Garden of Eden, Adam was walking with his sons Cain and Abel.

They passed by the ruins of the Garden of Eden. One of the boys asked, "What's that?"Adam replied, "Boys, that's where your mother ate us out of house and home."

Joke stolen from: The Joke Doctor

This supposedly true story is about a pastor (who is not a computer literate person by his own admission) as he told of a real phone call he received from the church secretary.

Secretary: Pastor, we've got a problem in the computer lab where you met with the confirmation class last week. Some of the boys in the class started messing with the mice.

Pastor: What?!?! {thinking: we've got mice in there????}

Secretary: Yeah, it seems some of the boys removed their balls.

Pastor: {incredulously:} did what?????? How in the world did they do that?

Secretary: They must have used a screwdriver or something.

Pastor: We've got some pretty sick boys... I... I... didn't even realize mice had balls...

Secretary: Yeah, they roll around on 'em all the time.

Pastor: What?????? {still thinking of the little furry real animals} Well...what can we do?

Secretary: I guess we'll have to put 'em back on.

Pastor: WHAT????????!!!!!!

Secretary: Hmmm....Pastor, are we talking about the same thing?!

Reverend Smith, a respected church leader, arrived in a large city to deliver a series of speeches. At a banquet the first evening, he noticed some reporters in the audience. Because he wanted to use some of the stories he told that night in his speeches the next day, he asked the reporters to omit them from their articles.

One article that came out the next day, written by a cub reporter, concluded with this line: "Reverend Smith also told a number of stories that cannot be printed."

Joke stolen from: The Joke Doctor

A little boy was taken to the dentist. It was discovered that he had a cavity that would have to be filled.

"Now, young man," asked the dentist, "what kind of filling would you like for that tooth?"

"Chocolate, please," replied the youngster.

Joke stolen from: The Joke Doctor

A six-year-old ran up and down the supermarket aisles shouting frantically, 'Marian, Marian!'

Finally reunited with his mother, he was chided by her, 'You shouldn't call me 'Marian.' I'm your mother, you know.'

'I know,' said the child, 'but the store is full of mothers.'

Joke stolen from: The Joke Doctor

Two law partners leave their office and go to lunch. In the middle of lunch the junior partner slaps his forehead.

"Damn," he says. "I forgot to lock the office safe before we left."

His partner replies " What are you worried about? We're both here."