The Joke Doctor

Joke stolen from: The Joke Doctor

A DC-10 had an exceedingly long roll out after landing when his approach speed was just a little too fast.

San Jose Tower: "American 751 heavy, turn right at the end, if able. If not able, take the Guadeloupe exit off of Highway 101 and make a right at the light to return to the airport.

Joke stolen from: The Joke Doctor

It was a really nice day, right about dusk, and a Piper Malibu was being vectored into a long line of airliners in order to land at Kansas City.

KC Approach: "Malibu three-two-Charlie, you're following a 727, one o'clock and three miles."

Three-two-Charlie: "We've got him. We'll follow him."

KC Approach: "Delta 105, your traffic to follow is a Malibu, eleven o'clock and three miles. Do you have that traffic?

Delta 105: Long pause followed by a thick southern drawl, "Well, I've got something down there. Can't quite tell if it's a Malibu or a Chevelle though."

Joke stolen from: The Joke Doctor

* Kelvin Floyd received a modest two-month sentence and a fine in Aiken, S. C., in March for stealing a car. Floyd had wisely known to obliterate the car's vehicle ID number and to replace it with a substitute number. However, apparently the best he could come up with to replace it was his own Social Security number, which police immediately recognized was bogus.

Thinning the Herd

Joke stolen from: The Joke Doctor

* Airport police in Sao Paulo, Brazil, arrested Gerardo Gallo in January after a search of his suitcase. They had found packages totaling about 50 pounds of cheap cheese and had become suspicious when they saw Gallo's destination was Switzerland. An inspector asked, "Why would anyone take so much third-rate Bolivian cheese to a country which is famous for its top quality cheese?" Packaged inside the cheese was about 22 pounds of cocaine.

Joke stolen from: The Joke Doctor

* Five Philippines treasure hunters were killed in March in Rizal province after they found a live World War II bomb and tried to pound it open with a crowbar. And a Philippines naval officer died in January in Zamboanga City while renovating his home when he used a live mortar shell as a hammer.