Trev's Funnies

Joke stolen from: Trev's Funnies

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor, crawled painfully onto a stool, and ordered a banana split.

The waitress asked, "crushed nuts?"

"No" he replied, "it's just arthritis."

Joke stolen from: Trev's Funnies

Halloween in a long time, so they decided to dress up and go out.

The old woman went in her bedroom, stripped naked, and tied a string between her legs with a lemon at the end of the string.

When she walked out of the room her husband yelled, "You can't go out like that!"

"I can go out as whatever I want and so can you!"

The man agreed and went into his room. Soon, he came out naked with a string tied to his penis and a potatoe at the end of the string.

The woman said, "You're going out as that?"

"Yes," said the old man. "If you can go out as a sourpuss, I can go out as a dictator".

Joke stolen from: Trev's Funnies

Farmer Gossman goes to the vet and says, "My horse is constipated."

The vet says, "Take one of these pills, put it in a long tube, stick the other end in the horse's rear, and blow the pill up there."

Farmer Gossman comes back the next day, and he looks very sick.

The vet says, "What happened?"

Farmer Gossman says, "The horse blew first."