Joke stolen from: Underw8

When my son was in Kindergarten, they had an assignment to color a picture. He wanted to use red, but when he checked his box, there WAS no red. His comment was "Damn!"

His teacher came over, and she said to him, "We do *not* talk like that in class!" He asked what was the problem, and she said, "You're not supposed to curse in class. In fact you aren't even supposed to TALK in class!"

My son looked at the teacher, and said, "If I can't talk, I get BITCHY!"

(Our explanation that we spoke 2 languages at home -- English and Profanity -- did NOT impress his teacher!)

Joke stolen from: Underw8

When my son, GeorDan was 7 or 8 years old, we took him to Mr. Gatti's for pizza one weekend for a treat. He had been very good that week, and got good grades at school. Since the adult section had ESPN SportSCenter on -- and he has no interest in watching sports programs -- we decided to sit in the "kids' section" where they were running cartoons.

The one they were running, Porky Pig fell asleep after saying, "History! BAH! What is the sense in studying it?" I think you all have seen it at some time.

Anyhow.... my son was watching intently as Uncle Sam appeared to Porky and was explaining to him about George Washington, and how he had crossed the Delaware River in a rowboat. Then, Uncle Sam took him thru a few other historic people -- Paul Revere, for one.

He got to the Lincoln Memorial and said to Porky, "Do you know who this man is?"

Since I wore a beard, and no moustache at the time, my son stood up, and he proclaimed at the top of his lungs, "THAT'S DADDY!" I swear, if we coulda, my wife and I woulda crawled through the cement flooring to get outta there without being noticed!!