Wubbie and Wanker

Joke stolen from: Wubbie and Wanker

A man and his friend meet at the club house and decide to play a round of golf together.

The man has a little dog with him and on the first green, when the man holes out a 20 foot putt, the little dog starts to yip and stands up on its hind legs and walks in circles.

The friend is quite amazed at this clever trick and says,

"Wow, that dog is really talented! What does he do if you miss a putt?"Somersaults," says the man.

"Somersaults?!" says the friend, "That's incredible. How many does he do?"Hmmm," says the man. "That depends on how hard I kick him."

Joke stolen from: Wubbie and Wanker

An American tourist was on a bus tour of Castilla that had a stop at this old convent. The tour wasn't that interesting so he managed to slip away and started wandering around by himself.

Feeling the urge to pee, he looked around for some privacy. He hid behind a bush and took a leak on the wall of the chapel.

While he was doing his business, the Mother Superior came around the corner and surprised him.

"OH! I am soooo sorry!" he said in embarrassment.

"It's OK," she replied. "Actually, I've never seen a man's... You know. Could I take a closer look?"A nun asking to see his unit freaked out the tourist but it was kinda kinky in a way, so he figured, what the hell.

The nun looked at it for a bit and as he was about to put it away she said,

"You know, I always wanted to touch one. Would you mind...?"This is really weird, but sure." The tourist was getting really excited. Who else could say that a nun had tossed you off?

"Could you take it all out so that I can get a complete experience?" the nun requested.

The tourist, sure that he was about to get laid, willingly took down his pants.

The nun began fondling his testicles and suddenly straightened, and said...

"Don't (SQUEEZE) piss (SQUEEZE) on the (SQUEEZE) church (SQUEEZE) walls (SQUEEZE) again!!!!!!!!!!!"

Joke stolen from: Wubbie and Wanker

"If God doesn't destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology." -- Jay Leno

Joke stolen from: Wubbie and Wanker

To YOU I'm an atheist. To God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

Joke stolen from: Wubbie and Wanker

Do you know what a Jewish dilemma is? Free ham.