Xtreme Clean

Joke stolen from: Xtreme Clean

There's a church-sponsored basketball league in the Atlanta area that makes awards to players at the end of every game. Young players will get awards for best defense, best offense, best sportsmanship, and an award for being the most "Christlike." I asked a mother how a player would qualify for that award. "It's easy," she said. "If the crowd moans 'Oh, Jesus!' every time one particular player gets the ball, he gets the award."

Joke stolen from: Xtreme Clean

In my job with a credit union, I often run across accounts that are protected by password.

The credit-union member when withdrawing funds, must produce identification and then give the password to the teller.

Recently, when I asked a woman for her password she sighed, rolled her eyes, and replied, "Save." I was puzzled until she explained, "My husband put in that password so I'd have to say it every time I make a withdrawal."

Joke stolen from: Xtreme Clean

My husband Ronnie volunteered to strip the bricks from the exterior of my parents' house. One morning he was out front chipping away when a man came by looking for my father.

"He's not here," Ronnie said.

The man thanked him, watched him remove a few more bricks, and said, "I'll bet next time they'll leave the key for you."

Joke stolen from: Xtreme Clean

When we moved cross-country, my wife and I decided to drive both our cars.

Hank, our eight-year-old, worried asked, "How will we keep from getting separated?"We'll drive slow so one car can follow the other," I reassured him.

"Yeah, but what if we get separated?" he persisted.

"Then I guess we'll never see each other again," I quipped.

"Okay," he said, "I'm riding with Mom."

Joke stolen from: Xtreme Clean

After watching the movie Cinderella, five-year-old Sarah started using her pinwheel as a magic wand, pretending she was a fairy godmother. "Make three wishes," she told her mother, "and I'll grant them." Her mom first asked for world peace.

Sarah swung her wand and proclaimed the request fulfilled.

Next, her mother requested for a cure for all ill children.

Again, with a sweep of the pinwheel, Sarah obliged.

The mother, with a glance down at her rather ample curves, made her third wish, "I wish to have a trim figure again." The miniature fairy godmother started waving her wand madly. "I'll need more power for this!" she exclaimed.