Xtreme Humor

Joke stolen from: Xtreme Humor

Late Show Top Ten Top Ten Questions Asked Of Barack Obama On His Trip Overseas 10. "Which countries do you plan to invade based on faulty intelligence?" 9. "Seriously, why the hell do you want this job?" 8. "Are you looking for a great deal on a used camel?" 7. "If you want to visit a war zone, how about the Alex Rodriguez marriage?" 6. "So is Lindsay Lohan actually dating that chick?" 5. "Can you explain the 'feels like' number?" 4. "How many Obamas still living in Ireland?" 3. "If you're elected, will you be an entertaining dumb-ass like Bush?" 2. "Can you do anything about Andy Dick?" 1. "Do you know Batman?"

Joke stolen from: Xtreme Humor

Angelina had twins over the weekend. Brad Pitt said he couldn't wait to get his hands on the twins . . . and then the babies. ~Craig Ferguson

Joke stolen from: Xtreme Humor

Late Show Top Ten Top Ten Signs Your Monkey Needs a Bath 10. Even his fleas have fleas 9. He's sweating right through his adorable monkey sailor suit 8. Your daily horoscope reads, "Today is a great day to wash your monkey" 7. Tries to cover up odor by wearing too much monkey aftershave 6. Even the really slutty monkey next door refuses to groom him 5. Town's sign reads "Home of the Rancid Baboon Stench" 4. You purchase so much Lysol, they put you on the board of directors 3. Threatening note thrown through your window tied to a banana 2. Been offered the cover of next month's "Smelly Monkey Magazine" 1. He smells like Andy Dick

Joke stolen from: Xtreme Humor

A guy goes into a Subway restaurant and orders a huge sandwich. In the sandwich, there was a knife with a nine-inch blade. Only in New York does your lunch pull a knife on you. ~David Letterman

Joke stolen from: Xtreme Humor